The Road Back: Taylor Made’s Brandon Pennington Learning to Be Relied On

[Wandering Eyes]

Brandon Pennington still remembers the night he stood frozen in the corner of the living room, a child watching an adult come undone. His grandmother clawed at the couch cushions, tearing through pillows with frantic hands as she screamed his name. The drugs had erased her sense of reality. She was certain he was late for school.

Somehow, Brandon cut through the confusion long enough to calm her, promising he would go get ready even though the sky outside had already gone dark.

He retreated to the bathroom and listened through the door for any sign she might spiral further. Pennington made a promise he would repeat to himself throughout his childhood–whatever his future held, he would never ask his own children to carry such a weight.

In the years that followed, Pennington became the very thing he had sworn he would never be. He became so entrenched in substance abuse that he chose to stay away from his children rather than let them see him in that state.

Even in the darkest chapters of Pennington's life, the pull of addiction was strong, but so was the drive to be the parent he never had. Through Stable Recovery, he found a way out. Today, he is not only a steady presence in his children's lives, but someone whose job depends on others being able to rely on him.

Growing up in Central Kentucky, Pennington moved between his parents' homes and both sets of grandparents. With nearly everyone in his family battling addiction, he learned from an early age that stability was never guaranteed.

“Not being around your parents sucks,” said Pennington. “After going through addiction myself, I can see why they weren't there and I can understand it. That doesn't make it right, but I can understand it.”

One day when Pennington was in high school, he and a friend swiped a bottle of wine from the fridge. Soon, they were smoking weed together. Then a friend offered him a clonazepam. Each step felt small, even harmless, but together they pulled him onto a path he wouldn't fully understand until the addiction had already taken hold.

“I guess you could say it was peer pressure,” he recalled. “From then on, I don't want to say it wasn't my choice, but I liked the feeling so I decided to continue to chase it.”

Pennington dropped out of high school. Eventually, even holding down a job at a fast food restaurant became impossible. His addiction escalated from pills to heroin to meth.

He never had a real relationship with his father, but as his substance abuse intensified, he gravitated toward his mother. For a time he lived with her and they used drugs together. Their fractured states of mind often led to fights, and sometimes she would kick him out of her house. It was a broken relationship, but it was one of the few he had.

He also remained close with his grandmother, whose addiction worsened as time went on. Eight years ago, his grandmother overdosed and died. When his mother passed away the same way the following year, the fragile network of family Pennington had left collapsed entirely.

Even before their passing, Pennington had known that such an ending was almost inevitable for both family members.

“I stayed really high to not think about it,” Pennington explained. “It's not like I knew it was going to happen or anything, but I kind of distanced myself from my grandmother for a while because I thought if something did happen, then it wouldn't hurt as bad. It was wrong of me to think that because I should have spent as much time with her as I could.”

Pennington cycled through different detox and rehabilitation centers for years. He would go in believing each time would be the last only to fall into the same old habits once he was released.

He had heard about Stable Recovery and its School of Horsemanship, but turned down the opportunity several times. Pennington had grown up around his grandfather's horse farm, but those early years of hard labor had fostered a resentment for the animals. Eventually, a friend committed to trying Stable Recovery and convinced Pennington to join him.

A few weeks in, the program's coordinator Josh Franks could tell that the hands-on horse aspect of the School of Horsemanship was not the right fit for Pennington, but he saw that he was reliable and excelled at practical, task-oriented work. Pennington moved over to Taylor Made's maintenance division. He quickly became an asset to the team there and upon graduating from Stable Recovery, accepted a full-time job with Taylor Made.

Pennington on the job at Taylor Made | Kelcey Loges

Pennington moved into an apartment with a friend who was also in recovery, but fell back into old patterns when the friend's girlfriend started getting high in the house.

“That time I didn't use IV drugs, but I was more broken spiritually and mentally than I had ever been before,” he recalled. “Being sober and being happy and then going back to what I was doing, it wasn't good. When I came back to Stable Recovery the second time, this time I was done. My first time, I didn't connect with the people there. I'd come home and go to my room. This time I really connected and that made a big difference.”

Pennington returned to Stable Recovery a little under two years ago. His job with the maintenance crew was waiting for him, and in a relatively short time, he worked his way up to his current role as maintenance foreman.

No two days on the job are the same. In the fall Pennington is busy conducting the behind-the-scenes set-up of the Taylor Made sales consignment. The resentment of his youth has given way to an appreciation for the animals, and he now enjoys hauling yearlings to the sales and mares to the breeding shed.

This fall, Pennington brought Taylor Made's new recruit Arthur's Ride (Tapit) home to the stallion division.

“I'm always doing something different,” said Pennington. “That's one thing I love about my job. I've worked a lot of factory jobs and doing the same thing over and over killed me. That's just not good for me or my sobriety.”

Pennington's schedule can be rather hectic, especially during sales season when the various consignment set-ups are calling him in need of extra shanks or help fixing a propane tank. Pennington thrives on the responsibility.

“I like being able to do whatever needs to be done,” he said. “Sometimes it gets to be a lot, but then I have to remind myself that there was a time nobody wanted to call me. I'm blessed today that people can trust me and they want to call me and ask me for things.”

Pennington is also working to build a relationship with his two pre-teen children. They live nearby with their mother, who is also in recovery.

“When I was getting high, I didn't want to see them anyway because I didn't want to put them around that,” he admitted. “I'd call and talk to them, but that hurt too. Sometimes just staying away is the best thing that you can do in a situation like that, but I hate that I lost so much time.”

Now one year and nine months sober, he still attends Stable Recovery meetings several times a week. It's a lot to juggle between working six days a week and spending quality time with his children, but he said the commitment is worth it.

“I don't like speaking in public, so for me I think just listening and relating is helpful. Usually if something is going on in my life that day, most of the time I can go to a meeting and I can hear what I need to hear.”

Pennington has also re-built a relationship with his half-sister. This year, they went bungee jumping together. Next year, they plan to try skydiving–a leap that, for Pennington, feels symbolic of how far he's come.

“I think being on this farm, so many people rely on me,” he said. “I don't want to let them down. I've got things that I don't want to lose now.”

After years of feeling alone and helpless, Pennington has become someone others can truly depend on. For him, that purpose has made all the difference.

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