The Diceman's Been

A couple of others wanted it more than I did. Well, that's not quite correct. I wanted it a lot, but the scrotum hold applied by my wife when I went past my budget meant I couldn't see the screen for the tears in my eyes.....

Well done Michael. Give them heaps, but will you get a response ………..fat chance. RITA is ROOTED

Well said sir. BUT, I have to confess I have my eye on a weanling in the auction tomorrow. Do I take a punt and convince myself that things will have turned 180 degrees in the next 12 to 18 months (please Lord make it happen) or do I put my money on the Warriors to win the wooden Spoon? If I do happen to get it, I will name it UPROOTED .

All and every means of distraction and deflection will be utilised by the dirty rotten rooted head office twats to take the white hot flame of the public (punter and participants) blowtorch being firmly directed at their up till now protected back passages..... at this time.

Ian apparently has strong internal communication attributes, according to the above. I take that to mean he farts often and has relied on the NZ tax payer to help him ease his obvious constipation.

The problem with incompetence is it's inability to recognise itself. Ian, from Public Relations ( isn't that the oxymoron of the day ) needs a lesson in respect. He wouldn't have a bloody job if it wasn't for the trainers, owners, studs, stablehands and jockeys...…...what a Group 1 plonker he is. I'm telling you, just in case you had any doubt, the joint is rooted.

Hey Bernie I been finking bout this plenty these last 28 days and my conclusion bout your direction and use to NZ racing is this: You talk so much crap I don't know whether to offer you a mint to suck on or loo paper.

Nobody would describe me as insular and elitist, I can assure you. In fact my bank manager, my ex-wife, the four subsequent girlfriends and my kids told me I was a bloody idiot thinking I could make a quid owning race horses. I still hold the faith, but I sincerely fear for the industry. I'm not sure if I've mentioned this before, but it's rooted, good and proper.

Not a good read in anyone's language and yet another example of RITA incompetence. A very wise man once said " common sense is like deodorant. Those who need it most never use it."

I could tell you a couple of penis jokes, but I don't want to appear cocky.

You make a very good case for the defense. You could always take up being a barrister when this all turns to custard. As an aside, how many ex jockeys were conceived during cup week, do ya reckon?

Fair point Michael, but you would have to agree that the celebrations in the Racecourse pub has dented many a northern trainer's reputation for being able to handle the juice during cup week. There is no question it is the trainer's wives leading the charge to have the races moved north so they can keep an eye on their men. Debauchery, recalcitrant, raunchy and impish. Further proof that crossing north island stallions with south island mares leads to heartache. Sorry mate, cup week is well and truly rooted for sure and certain.

Being an old bugger, I've lost most of the lead from my pencil, the risk taker in me has been blunted by meds so I find myself retreating to the safety of the Place 6 option these days. I'd never be seen taking one in my local TAB for fear of humiliation, but I can secretly stick a couple on via my trusty tablet, and today is no exception. So, for no other reason than receiving plaudits and praise, here goes: Race 4: 5 & 12 Race 5: 6 & 7 Race 6: 5 & 11 Race 7: 2 & 11 Race 8; 1 & 5 Race 9; 4 & 15 Total $64 May the wind of fortune blow up my kilt.

Does this joint come with a "ticker chamber", "daily will to win infusions" or a lockdown on KFC delivery? No.....???? Then Warriors = rooted

Wrong - it was sharing the same stablehand Almost as bad as all the blokes kissing the bride at Bluff.