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Bit Of A Yarn

Dear Emms


Thomass

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Had an oarsum day actually scabies...

15 minutes after necking the pink panther chemical pellets from the local Methametha markets...found meself naked, slithering around in the mud by the Brussel Sprout farmers field...

...I then painted me willy orange and hid in a pile of carrots destined for the Auckland Oratia Farmers market for a free trip home...

...still dreaming of Emms all the way though...you?

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Who in their right mind would leave her alone newy?

Shes the perfect face to market the Thoroughbred Industry...

...and when she rides out this coming G 1 day at the Bay....there's no greater sight...

?..other than if she did a Lady Godiva impression...

now that'd bring the crowds to the milk bar...

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2 hours ago, Poisoned Dwarf said:

But will Opes turn up, for his first raceride in nearly 3 months ?

Who can blame Opee for wanting to take the winter off with this Princess?

A roaring hot fire with a hotty...sipping mulled wine and scoffing the very best blue...Roquefort on a crusty French loaf....

...a hot pot followed by Creme Brûlée....Emms would only have to breathe on it to get the Caramelisation sorted...

..then an allnighter of unimaginable passion and hotness at the base of the four poster boudoir...after it started on the bathroom vanity...while Opee was looking at himself in the mirror far too long...

Emms would undoubtedly take control...and that's the way I like sometimes...

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6 minutes ago, Thomass said:

Who can blame Opee for wanting to take the winter off with this Princess?

A roaring hot fire with a hotty...sipping mulled wine and scoffing the very best blue...Roquefort on a crusty French loaf....

...a hot pot followed by Creme Brûlée....Emms would only have to breathe on it to get the Caramelisation sorted...

..then an allnighter of unimaginable passion and hotness at the base of the four poster boudoir...after it started on the bathroom vanity...while Opee was looking at himself in the mirror far too long...

Emms would undoubtedly take control...and that's the way I like sometimes...

yep it certainly would beat your cold winter nights wrapped up in the  patched quilt your great grandmother made for you sitting in front of the old 2 bar heater praising jacinda for the power bonus whilst trying to fix the many punctures in your princess

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18 hours ago, Thomass said:

Had an oarsum day actually scabies...

15 minutes after necking the pink panther chemical pellets from the local Methametha markets...found meself naked, slithering around in the mud by the Brussel Sprout farmers field...

...I then painted me willy orange and hid in a pile of carrots destined for the Auckland Oratia Farmers market for a free trip home...

...still dreaming of Emms all the way though...you?

WHICH GOES TO SHOW HOW DERANGED YOU ARE...HOW AND WHY WOULD THE FARMERS 'PICK YOU' IF YOUR SILLY ORANGE WILLY WAS BELOW GROUND??. YOU'DA BEEN BETTER OFF DISGUISING YOURSELF AS A CABBAGE (AND ACTING NATURALLY).

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11 minutes ago, Weasel said:

WHICH GOES TO SHOW HOW DERANGED YOU ARE...HOW AND WHY WOULD THE FARMERS 'PICK YOU' IF YOUR SILLY ORANGE WILLY WAS BELOW GROUND??. YOU'DA BEEN BETTER OFF DISGUISING YOURSELF AS A CABBAGE (AND ACTING NATURALLY).

Na, that was before I'd painted it and after I'd recovered...

I briefly thought about painting the Crown Jewels green like 2 massive Sprouts...but they would have appeared as two melon like articles...

...then found the better option over the road with an orange road cone that fitted perfectly...

...but that was a bit conspicuous looking amongst the other carrots...so I got the local air brush girl to give it the once over and it worked...

...just had to make sure I was 10 inches at least from the top load...so to speak...

...hope that helps...no need to shout btw

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2 hours ago, Thomass said:

Na, that was before I'd painted it and after I'd recovered...

I briefly thought about painting the Crown Jewels green like 2 massive Sprouts...but they would have appeared as two melon like articles...

...then found the better option over the road with an orange road cone that fitted perfectly...

...but that was a bit conspicuous looking amongst the other carrots...so I got the local air brush girl to give it the once over and it worked...

...just had to make sure I was 10 inches at least from the top load...so to speak...

...hope that helps...no need to shout btw

CHEERS i mean cheers for that detailed explanation ...or was it a short fantasy novel(??). You are a problem Thomass but for as long as the CS lets you rabbit on, I s'pose you will have an audience of some kind.

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2 hours ago, Thomass said:

Na, that was before I'd painted it and after I'd recovered...

I briefly thought about painting the Crown Jewels green like 2 massive Sprouts...but they would have appeared as two melon like articles...

...then found the better option over the road with an orange road cone that fitted perfectly...

...but that was a bit conspicuous looking amongst the other carrots...so I got the local air brush girl to give it the once over and it worked...

...just had to make sure I was 10 inches at least from the top load...so to speak...

...hope that helps...no need to shout btw

You reminded me of a joke....a guy was allowed one wish by a wicked witch...he said he'd always wanted a dick that was so big it touched the ground....

with one swipe of her wand the witch chopped his legs off at the knees..!!   would that do it for you Twoarses?? or would it need to be higher..!!

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Wow woodie wow is all you can say relly...

And do I detect a bit of a 'spring bloom' wink wink say no more...or is it the pink that suits her like a pink rose??

...must be about time...Emms is in the height of getting clucky age...Opee needs another one like a hole inda head...but who cares about him...

...when Emms is all that matters...

...in case you missed her today...doing menial tasks

 

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