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Bit Of A Yarn

The Diceman's Been

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Everything posted by The Diceman's Been

  1. "Geez Thommo….your intel was blurred. You said 12.3 metres from the rail was the magic lane. You didn't say which bloody rail.....inside or out. Just as well I'm the champion and figured it out for myself."
  2. NZ Punter: Do you mind if I smoke? NZRB: : I don't care if you burn.
  3. T, back up the truck. Remember that day when you were playing in the mixed foursomes at the Kohi Bowling Club......with the hottest blond blow up doll in East Auckland and you were 6 points down with two ends to go...............of course you remember coz it all got a bit complicated from then on, as you well know. The pressure was on, the adrenaline was pumping and you were in a high state of excitement. So much so that you needed a quick "relief" so you called a timeout. With Sexy Suzie under your arm, you raced across the green to the carpark where your motor home was parked. Thirty seconds later you are exiting the van, feeling totally at ease with the world, relieved of the huge burden that only minutes before had been making your eyes water. But alas, in your rush to get back to the game, you fell. There was an audible gasp from the crowd..........actually it was more of a hiss, as the burst and battered Sexy Suzie deflated in seconds. To your credit, you held on to her ears, you didn't let go, and the crowd clapped and roared at your atlethic ability and airbagmanship. You reached into your pocket and grabbed the portable Sexy Suzie Emergency Blow Up Kit, and moments later you are back on the green..........and you went on to win that match T. It was truly inspiring for all blow up doll enthusiasts worldwide. The video went viral. You became a household name, as did Sexy Suzie. However, the beaten team were highly pissed. See, there was a local rule that said no blond blow up dolls were allowed to play mixed foursomes. How petty they were........poor losers don't you think? I know they upset you.
  4. Big congratulations to James Mac after riding the winner of the last race at Ascot. Top rider and seemingly becoming a good bloke after having had a few hiccups along the journey (haven't we all ?). I don't think it will be too long before he is back riding for ALL the leading stables, including the blue brigade in Oz, if the rumours are correct.
  5. Are there no genuine journalists, or sub-editors left at the Ferald? I hadn't realised Tony H was actually Anthony Butt............well he is if this article is to be believed. Get your act together you useless pack of pricks. https://www.nzherald.co.nz/sport/news/article.cfm?c_id=4&objectid=12074640
  6. T, it's only natural you are an expert. You caused your mum some terrible chaffing problems.
  7. The money told the tale. The filly might be worth trying at 2000 metres plus, or ………..
  8. I'm working on it
  9. That is Leah Gavranich, a young lady who was a track rider in Perth who joined Arrowfield twelve years ago and who has been on a magic journey ever since......with one exception. https://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/superracing/man-charged-after-attack-on-female-strapper-in-mounting-yard-at-flemington/news-story/b3f99f28226349abfec20152248cfcbf
  10. You are putting yourself in a precarious position Mr Arse.
  11. This photo is of Ortensia at Newmarket. The rider just happens to be a part owner of the filly racing today.
  12. When an honest man speaks, he says only what he believes to be true; and for the liar, it is correspondingly indispensable that he considers his statements to be false. For the bullshitter, however, all these bets are off: he is neither on the side of the true nor on the side of the false. His eye is not on the facts at all, as the eyes of the honest man and of the liar are, except insofar as they may be pertinent to his interest in getting away with what he says. He does not care whether the things he says describe reality correctly. He just picks them out, or makes them up, to suit his purpose.” A quote from Tomarse from 2015, that I found in the HONEST PUNTERS FORUM
  13. Mr T Arse May I climb in where virgins generally fear to tread. I like following the money........especially those stables that LOVEAPUNT. Like today at Tamworth. Race 4. The best bred horse running round in Oz today. By a Royal Ascot winner (how timely) out of a fabulous mare who also won Royal Ascot week, the Nunthorpe Stakes to be precise, and, if not for some terrible bad luck would have won a lot more. This is a real nice filly. I loved her as a yearling but a few issues have meant she has been kept out of the top company you would normally expect a filly of this pedigree running round in. I am reliably informed she has been as fat as Tomarse's wallet for her first two runs back over sprint distances, but still the money was there to say she might get there on class alone. Today she is up to a middle distance and we should see a much improved performance. Time, and money, will tell.
  14. In that case I feel for you mate. I have to get litres poured into me after a night on the Blue pills. Thomarse, on the other hand, goes thru 3 puncture repair kits.
  15. This is one argument you can't win Tomarse. You know it - everyone knows it. You own the ugliest blow up doll in the Universe. She is so ugly - When she plays in your sandbox even the cat kepts covering her up. And you can add any of these to describe her.......... Synonyms for ugly adj unattractive awful grisly grotesque hideous horrid unseemly unsightly animal appalling bad-looking beastly deformed disfigured foul frightful gross hard-featured homely ill-favored loathsome misshapen monstrous not much to look at plain repelling repugnant repulsive revolting unbeautiful uncomely uninviting unlovely unprepossessing
  16. Multi Up North Race 9 Kirkintilloch Race 10 True Enough All Blacks by 30 plus into: Me to get lucky on date night tonight. GOING TO BE A GREAT DAY
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