The Diceman's Been

You take away the looks, the occasional losing day on the punt, the money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there's no real difference between me and George Clooney.

All up Fixed Odds Multi place : Te Rapa Race 1: Wooden Edge Te Rapa Race 6: Ritani Te Rapa Race 8: Replica Awapuni Race 4: Cassino To Trieste Awapuni Race 6: Mr Cool Boy Awapuni Race 8: Crafty Jess $25 to return $11,800

I am worried about our good mate, T, and his lack of presence these past few days. Can I ask all in the community to post an ALL POINTS BULLETIN on all your social media outlets, as concern is mounting that someit might have transpired. Cyber bullying has a far greater effect than most realise, and I would also ask that you each take a moment to reflect on how you may have played a part in the current mire. T may have his faults, he may portray himself as a mindless smelly turd at times, but underneath there is a heart of gold, a true enthusiast, a lover of the four hooves and a catalyst of punter's losing thoughts. Come in T............we miss you mate.

I'm running red hot so you should take very close notice of my thoughts today although I did have a minor hiccup with my winnings from the weekend. I went out on a threesome with two Thai girls. They intimated it would be like winning the Lottery after my earlier punt. To my horror they were right. We had six matching balls. All up Place bet: Race 5: Wolff Spirit Race 9: Amun Ra Race 10: Bells of Ouzeley

Oh yeah baby, I'm back big time

Ok, I've just pawned my last packet of Noodles.......thankfully it was a 10 pack so I am investing a massive $5 on Ohceedee. I haven't had this badder run since I got fired from the Calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.

2 minutes from the jump.....Straight Sets to smash them. G

I'm all over I'm Bronson in the first at Hastings.......like a rash. Has led in all three hurdle starts this season against equal or better fields than this, only to puncture in the last bit. Jumps well, and round Hastings today might get a break on some of these.......and only half deflate as he gets fitter. That $6.50 Fixed place odds is attractive enough and the $26 Fixed win would mean pavlova and cream for lunch.

And bitofayarn.........apparantly

Morning team. I want to present a case for a long shot in Race 3 at Waverley today. This mare won her first start on a heavy track back in October, and followed that up with a couple of credible runs before being spelled. This preparation was kicked off on that bottomless Trentham track in late May ( the winner ran the 1200 in excess of 1.17) and in a strange move to me, she was backed up five days later on another very heavy Awapuni. She dropped out, for whatever reason, on both occasions. Given plenty of time to recover, she ran a very nice 1000 metre trial at Foxton eight days ago, beaten a long neck behind the decent galloper, Saint Kitt. I understand the track today is much better than the two bogs she raced on fresh, and given that time to recover from both runs, and with a two kilo claim, ear muffs and a tongue tie on, we might just get a result.

Guys, c'mon. Your bullying my man T. Desist. Give the guy a break I say. It's not easy being T. Spare a thought for the world he lives in. It's not easy - he has to blow hard often.

Ladies.......please........relax. My longshit today is Race 3 No 6 Reilly Central. Was looking ok in the Baker style before an issue or ten. Transferred to the new bloke and should be getting somewhere near peak fitness after such a long break. The lad will be wanting to beat the two first starters from the old stable, and let's be honest.....it's a crap field so I am expecting a run a drum minimum.

Mine just arrived I'm off to Rotavegas to get me a winning willing woman with a long mane and stiff stifles.

Massey Man, there is a reason why I am either coming or been. There was, many many years ago, a young schoolboy named Diceman Whose mom cut his hair with a basin. When he stood in one place, With a scarf round his face, It's a mystery which way he was facing.

May I interrupt for a moment gentlemen.....please? Thommo, can I order a dozen of the CHOC Guide biscuit boxes please. Bloody lovely they are.

I've just rung the RIU and demanded they cancel the rest of the meeting. It's not fair on those poor city boys taking such a munting on a Sunday. Who woulda thought?

Amen to that

The bloody cheek of them...…...buggers won the second race, at juicy odds too...….next thing he will want to start at Addington. Get back in your box you egotistical local trainer. How many in that All Blacks team were born in the city? Fark all, that's how many.

You sad old prick. Might be time for you to take a green dream. I seriously doubt anyone would miss you.

I like a couple of locals at longer odds at Doomben today. Same trainer, two good jocks. Trainer is one of my favs. Race 4 No 9 Race 9 No 11 This article was from back in February: TRAINER Desleigh Forster and part-owner Basil Nolan are at odds over the next stop for emerging sprinter Malvern Estate, who picked himself off the canvas to win his fourth straight race at Doomben. A one-time crock who looked at one stage like he may never race, Malvern Estate struck a couple of traffic jams in the straight before lunging to grab Boomwaa in the last stride in the Open Handicap (1110m). Forster wants to send him for a break to prepare for the winter, while Nolan, who also bred the son of Redoute’s Choice, is keen to tackle the Listed Goldmarket on the Gold Coast next month. Either way, the pair agree the four-year-old has a bright future.

As it happens, I do have a photo of those HALCYON DAYS and am happy to share it with you...............Aressole ?

FARKING Massey spelling mistake military police Intel officers who also happen to lurk on gambling forums. Tosses, all of you.

I like your thinking. I also like the trainer, who has a habit of setting them for a specific race, with a very small team, and getting the choccies, usually at good odds. I recall him from many many many many years ago, when he was foreman for Wheels in those halcyon days.

Great stuff young lady. Keep up the good work. All you need now is a call from Singapore. "Yes Donna, I'll take the $100,000".

"Impeccable breeding, you're kidding Mr Hesi. Have you seen that butt ugly, fishy smelling, baking powder loving father of mine?"