Sad. I didn't really expect you to know any different.
Some light reading. Jeremiah 5:21 1 Corinthians 2:14
For the Christian, this life is the closest they will get to hell( I will explain Hell as being the complete absence of God, for your sake. Gods "general grace" given to all will be removed. Shouldn't worry you as you obviously have no faith.
For the unbeliever this life is the closest they will get to Heaven.
Of course as Israel pointed out , sadly only tacked on the end , to his detriment, is Gods love for all who embrace it, and a way of salvation if only one would grasp it. Christianity is about love and forgiveness, not condemnation.
Unfortunately , in my own human condition I cannot convince you of the existence of God or his saving grace.
You will personally find out( unless you change your mind) on your death bed, if indeed Christians were kidding or not .
God bless Thomas